I saw something today I’m not sure I ever wanted to see. I can’t be sure the scars will heal for either of us.
A 40-something year old man came into the wound dressing clinic today, 3 weeks after he had been badly burned from neck to knee with boiling water. My gut told me that this wasn’t an accident. I just couldn’t seem to fathom how he could have possibly been burned that badly except for purposefully. The other carers (nurse assistants) told me that this type of extensive burn was “more than normal” and something they see all the time inflicted by another human. Nothing new for them.
It was all I could do to hold it together and not to cry. Thankfully I didn’t find out the reason he was burned until after it was all over.
He had been discharged from a local hospital a few days ago and was told to come to our clinic for daily dressing changes. I couldn’t read the hospital report because it was written in Afrikans, so I had to do my best in guessing what I was going to find beneath his totally mummified-white-cloth-wrapped neck, chest, back, torso, groin and legs. It was worse than anything I have ever seen. But then again, I seem to say that everyday now.
He stripped down to his underwear and when we began to peel the old dressings off they stuck very badly to his burned skin and he started to bleed. After almost an hour of peeling and soaking the bandages in water we still couldn’t get them off. His pain was very bad and he began to shake horribly with goose-bumps and chills all over his body. One of the carers made up some home-made Gatorade, as I feared he was headed into shock from the pain and fatigue of the long dressing change. I did all I could to calm him while holding his non-burned hand and arm. I patted, stroked, and shushed just like you would a child while he cried.
At one point I found myself bending down in front of him, holding his knees down, both of us silently praying for God to give us strength to complete this. We both knew neither of us had a choice. His bandages had to be cleaned and I had to do it. We continued to work, taking rest breaks as he needed them and as I painfully pulled each bandage off, I quietly hummed an old hymn I love, recorded by Selah, called “I Need Thee Every Hour.”
“I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is vain.
I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
Oh, bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.”
The lyrics could not have been more appropriate for the situation, and when the others began to hum along with me, I knew the tune was bringing him comfort as well, or at least distraction from the pain. After it was all said and done, he got dressed, politely said thank you, told us he would be back Monday and left. Case closed. Job well done.
It was only later, while I was collecting our end of the day statistics, the care partner who spoke his language explained to me what had happened, as he had just told it to her.
Per his own report, one night a few weeks ago, he had been severely beating his wife while his youngest daughter watched. At some point the 4-year old little girl pushed a toggle switch and started an electric tea kettle full of water to heat. When it was finished boiling, she somehow pulled it down off the high shelf onto her dad on purpose so that he would stop beating her mother.
I’m sorry, WHAT? WHAT!?! WHAT!?! What do I possibly do with a story like that? Instantly a million scenarios and questions started running through my head. Where is the child now? Where is the mother now? Are either of them injured? Were they burned too? Is he still beating them? I have no idea. The father told the carer he had forgiven his daughter and had no malice towards her, but I got no other information, as the man had already left. He’s gone and I’m left with the story.
Here’s what I do know. I would not have treated him any differently than I did, even knowing now, that some would say he got what was coming to him. Justice served for his abusive ways. Yet, the love of Christ demands that I extend to this man all of the same mercy, grace and pardon which was extended to me in my same hour of great depravity.
My friend Dan Haseltine says it well: “This is the paradox of being a follower of Christ, to hate injustice but to love mercy.”
That patient knew walking in this morning that Living Hope is a Christian organization, and by nature we would offer him healing in many capacities. We would give both tender care, as well as tender mercy, in his incredibly helpless state. This story, and the thousands more I will encounter is the reason I am here: to preach and to heal. Neither alone will fix this man. Either his wounds will heal and his life will continue to be a broken mess, or He will come to know the Lord through our witness, and his physical healing will pale in comparison to the healing he finds in his heart.
My only recourse is to continue to pray for my patient. I won’t be working at the same location on Monday if he comes back in, but I did pass his story along to the other volunteer nurse who works there so she can follow up if he shows up.
Will you pray for all of us as at Living Hope as we preach and heal? Will you pray for my patient and his family? Will you pray for me to have courage to speak the truth of Christ is those situations? I assure you that changing a band-aid or two is nothing compared to the challenge of changing people’s hearts.
Ultimately, that is why I am here. Help me not to forget it.
I wish I could better explain the reaction I just had to that story. It's uncomfortable and most definitely checks your motive. Do I really believe what I say I believe? Do I really love everyone? Am I really willing to show mercy, grace, and love to even the "worst" people? Praying right now. Be brave.
Yes yes! I WILL pray for him, his fam, and contniue in prayer for you and all the ministers of the Gospel of Jesus Christ @ Living Hope. This is why we live! We are His disciples- living, moving, healing, preaching- He said we would do even greater things than He did!
So proud of you, girl. So thankful for you. Having been the recipient of your loving care over the past year and a half...I know first hand how that man was blessed. Glory to our Father in heaven! Keep pressing on...
Wow is really the only word I can muster. Praying for you, dear one