Okay fine. After 4 months, I have a complaint. Have I explained grocery shopping here to you yet? I feel like every time I go to the store, I should get an olympic medal just for showing up. It's like practicing patience under fire. No matter what I go in for, it takes me an hour. Yes, I know, I should be grateful to have the money to buy food and to live where there even is a grocery store, but just for the sake of comparison... hear me out.
There are aproximately 80,000 people living in the valley and only ONE major grocery store. ONE! So needless to say, it is PACKED all the time and it closes RIGHT after work, so you have to go... NOW! Get going already!
Here's the usual process:
Step one: Park really far away.
Step two: Lock up the car like Fort Knox and be sure to say hello to the friendly "car-guard" who you will be tipping later for watching your car.
Step three: Walk halfway to the entrance, turn-around and go back to the car to collect your reusable sacks, so you don't have to pay for them individually at the check-out
Step four: Enter the mall and keep walking to actually get into the store.
Step five: Pray that there is a cart available when you get to the entrance. (Yes, I have been there when they were "out" of carts! Crazy huh?)
Step six: Move like a woman on a mission. Steer like you stole something. People ramming is not polite... but it is an option. You may not take any more than 5 seconds of a stop at any point to examine a product or you will be yelled at.
Step seven: Just put it in the basket already! Your 5 seconds is up!
Step eight: All the calories/fat grams etc are in metric. No point in even looking at the label.
Step nine: Do not, I repeat, do not interrupt the employees who are re-stocking the shelves in the middle of rush hour. You will not get the rice you just requested. They have never heard of customer service. You ARE bothering them. Just move on.
Step ten: If you find something that you like, buy three of them. It may be weeks before they get more in.
Step eleven: All fruit and vegetables must be weighed in the produce section by a staff member and stickered with a price. You will likely not remember this required process until you are in line, at which point you will have to get out of line, go sticker your item and then come back. This makes everyone very happy.... You can see for yourself in the following photos just how happy these people are :)
Step twelve: Prepare to engage in territorial warfare with random shopping trolleys left at the check-out. NO one returns the carts to the proper location, which further contributes to the mass chaos at the till.
Step thirteen: Pay for your groceries, buy some extra air time for your phone and make a mad dash for the parking lot.
Step fourteen: Quickly get to the car, toss a 2 Rand at the car guard and SPEED home!!!
CONGRATULATIONS YOU SURVIVED!!!!!
Until next time that it....
