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-To Be of Use-

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The people I love the best
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half submerged balls.

I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.

I want to be with people who submerge
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who stand in the line and haul in their places,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.

The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.
But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.

The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.


To Be of Use By Marge Piercy From Circles on the Water (1982)
Read More 0 comments | Posted by Amy | edit post

Why do bad things happen to good people?

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I’ve lost count of the tragedies. Arizona. Sandy Hook. Boston. Colorado (Twice). Virginia. Jonesboro. Cleveland. I can’t even remember them all. Rape. Murder. Suicide. Six separate random mass shootings in 2012 alone, by my calculations. And then I saw this today:


Police: Oklahoma teens kill Australian baseball player -- just because


I think I’m going to be physically sick. But why am I so shocked? We've asked for this in our post-modern culture. When we choose to be godless, why should we be surprised that ungodliness follows? If we no longer “see fit to acknowledge God,” why should we be shocked when ceasing to acknowledge one another comes next? When we have no respect for the Creator of human life, why should we respect the creation? 

The unthinkable has happened, again and again, because we refuse to critically think about a worldview that makes sense. 
We are simply reaping what we have systematically sown. Why do bad things happen to good people? Because there are no good people. We are born fallen, evil, sinful, and deserving of death, had it not been for God. Because asking why bad things happen is the wrong question. How about defining what "bad" or "wrong" means to begin with? Under the guise of secular humanism we have no idea what moral absolutes are. We have no idea why we are here. We can't categorically explain to you why murder is wrong. And please don’t ask us… “Whatever you believe is true for you, and let’s leave it at that.” 

Why did this happen? It’s called SIN and it’s endemic to the human heart. And nobody wants to talk about it. We have made it taboo as a culture to talk about sin, death, judgment, eternity etc. “Stand before a Holy God to be judged someday? You are so judgmental!”


As Mike Huckabee has now said after two repeat tragedies, “Ultimately, we don't have a crime problem or a gun problem or even a violence problem. What we have is a sin problem.”

How much longer are we going to let this go on, before we realize that passing laws isn't the answer? Pass as many laws as you want, but unless you change peoples’ hearts, we will never win this battle against evil. This is a heart issue. The true heart of humanity is sinful: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9)

I guess it sucks to be us. Or as someone else once said. “Woe is me.” (You might have heard that one, but you weren’t listening cause it’s from that “outdated” book that those crazy religious fanatics read.)

Just like God warned Cain so many years ago, “Sin is crouching at your door.” How desperately our world needs to hear that same message today and repent. How desperately we need to "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" 


Would you like random acts of senseless violence to stop? Start living your life the way God designed it. Start thinking about a worldview that adds up. Follow what the Bible says is the path to righteousness.

The only answer is the Gospel. 


“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chron 7:14


I don't know about you, but I'm praying this verse tonight for our families, for our churches, for our nations, and I hope you will join me. 
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-POTUS Visits South Africa-


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The man is on his way here. This is a BIG deal for South Africa. Politics aside, I'm happy for a little global attention focused on SA, and also to have a little bit of Americaness in SA this week. I found the NPR news story below to be very helpful.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Amy | edit post

-Wedded Bliss-

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I'm sure you've noticed that's it's been a quiet time on this blog for awhile now. It's been a reflective time. It's been an intense time. It's been a re-shaping time.

I'm just now emerging from the protected captivation that has been my 1 1/2 year courtship and marriage to my new husband Steve. It's been such a beautiful season of blending together our lives, our families, and our countries. It was a season in which I had been spending my extra time outside of my "nine-to-five" at Living Hope, focused on our relationship and the building of our new life together. In light of the mission I am on, and in addition to the focus we must all have as Christ followers, I think that we are also called to "live life to the fullest", celebrating and cherishing life wherever it's happening. Christ came that we might have ABUNDANT life, and for me the addition of a spouse and help-mate, has been just that, an abundant blessing.

My day as a bride was the best day of my life, but how much more it excited me for the day when we as the church, will be the bride of Christ. In all the joy of our day, I kept thinking about how it was just a small fraction of the joy we have to look forward to in heaven. Can you even imagine what it will feel like on the day when Christ renews His covenant with us for all of eternity?

As I looked around the church a few weeks ago, I definitely felt the absence of those that weren't able to join us on our wedding day. It didn't diminish our joy in any way, but somehow I just wanted to widen the shared radiance of the love of Christ we felt that day. What a lesson for me in the importance of living life in such a way that it leads to the expression of worship through Biblical commitment and covenant. It was something I hope I don't forget easily.

We are settling into our new apartment, and I'm back at work after our honeymoon, just as busy as ever, but I do find that I now have a bit more free head space to engage in evaluating the ongoing forward-moving mission of our lives.  More time to ponder and process what is happening as the two of us join together down this road we call life. No going back now! I'm more "into" South Africa, than I ever could have been before. I'm more committed to this country, and it's people, and it's prosperity, because half of my heart and life is now joined to it's future. How much deeper is my call to commit to Christ and His gospel here in SA.

I have found in my bit of pondering lately, that the longer I live in a society the more complex its facets become. Its aspects. Its richness. Its unspoken customs. Its sayings. How it is that I come to understand it.  I've found that neither SA, nor America, nor any other microcosm inside of those societies can be fit into a simplistic understanding. As offended as I have felt when people here have made broad sweeping comments about Americans, I feel I should proceed with caution as I attempt to  know the nature and character of the people around me. Simply put, I find that I have a renewed desire to shape my character in such a way that the integrity of Christ's gospel and it's message aren't watered down in my day-to-day living... cross-cultural or otherwise.

While I continue to live and learn and make mistakes, and add to that trying to love my new husband, a deeper desire continues to rise to the surface: to know Christ and make Him known. As deep as my desire was for others to be present at our wedding day, it fades by comparison when I think of the desire to share that day in Heaven when the marriage of the Lamb comes. What amazing joy waits for those that are pledged to Him... 

"As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you." Isaiah 62:4-6

Love and blessings to you-
Amy
Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Amy | edit post

-Living Way-

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I'm so thrilled about how this branch of Living Hope is taking off! Really proud to be a part of this amazing work! Check out the video below for details!



http://youtu.be/eoSX9vo0Ghc
Read More 0 comments | Posted by Amy | edit post

-In Crisis-

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An interesting article on the HIV/TB epidemic in South Africa from NPR. Keep reading below if you'd like to know more.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2012/07/26/157434988/amid-an-aids-epidemic-south-africa-battles-another-foe-tuberculosis


Read More 0 comments | Posted by Amy | edit post

-Rita-

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Meet my new sidekick, "The Little Senorita That Could" or "Rita" for short. She's firery red, feisty and wishes she were faster, but alas she is not :) 

Minted in '08 with 5 gears, low mileage, 4 doors, air-conditioning and biscuits for wheels... at just $6,000 USD she was a steal! It looks like my grandma should be driving this car, but I'm just grateful not to have to rent anymore. I'm also pretty proud of myself for figuring out the SA system and purchasing a car all by myself in a foreign country. Wohoo! 






Watch out Cape Town, here I come!

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-Freddy-

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We recently had a young refugee patient with us at Living Hope named Freddy. He came to South Africa from Zimbabwe,  in search of what every refugee is ultimately in search of... a stable life, a job,  security, and a brighter future. A devout Christian, this young man prayed often, read his Bible all the time, and had a genuine kind word for everyone around him. Intelligent and hard working, he brought our staff and other clients great  amounts of cheer in the very short time he came to stay at the Health Care Centre.



Last year at a routine visit to an general practitioner, it was discovered that Freddy had congenital hypertension: a genetic disorder causing his blood pressure to run dangerously high since he was a young man. Already in the end stages of kidney failure caused by high blood pressure, he had become very familiar with the government hospitals around South Africa. Like any 3rd world country, dialysis and renal transplants are hard to come by, and having been rejected by several renal transplant programs and dialysis units already, he was sent to Living Hope for end-of-life care. Able bodied, ambulatory, and otherwise in good health, this 30 year old man was sent to us to die.

How could we live with ourselves if we didn't try, yet again, to get Freddy some help? After many phone calls, medical reports, pulling strings, and weeks of waiting it came down to the final hour. His fate was to be decided at a Thursday noon meeting of the chiefs of staff of the government hospital. What difficult choices are laid before those men and women each week. With so few resources, and such overwhelming need, they must sit at a table, and decide who they try to save, and who they must leave to let illness to take it's course.

In the few days leading up to the decision,  Freddy had become increasingly impatient with staff, hard to manage and a bit emotionally unstable in general. He was beside himself with anxiety. Pacing the floor, unable to sleep, crying, complaining of increased symptoms, and with a racing heart he waited.  As the minutes ticked by that Thursday morning waiting for the phone call that would mean life or death for this young man, the anxiety became too much for him.

He packed his bags and walked out of our hospital. He decided to take control of his destiny, knowing that he had just a few weeks to live, he went off to live them, rather than wait for some other power to decide his fate. I sit here now, and I wonder what it must feel like to have your fate weighed by the hands of a few? Completely unlike a judgement handed down for crimes committed, yet a punishment just as harsh: death.

As I, and many others ran after him, we literally begged, pleaded, prayed, and cried for him to stay, but the thought of being rejected yet again was just too much for him to take. He simply couldn't bear any more indecision and angst. Of his own free will and in his right mind he refused the possibility of treatment and relied upon the only thing he knew to trust: himself.

Sometimes hope is just that painful. To raise your eyes heavenward and believe that there might be a chance for redemption takes more courage than you might think. To open yourself up to the possibility of rejection is a dangerous thing. A gamble at best, hope might be the greatest act of vulnerability we will ever attempt. It puts out before us the chance for ultimate salvation or ultimate dejection.

I think hope might be the most scare of Africa's resources. There is not enough to go around. Not enough hope, in the same way that there is not enough education. Not enough jobs. Not enough housing. Not enough compassion. Not enough answers. 

Never before in my life, have I experienced this. In my heart and in my mind, I still live like the world operates on the truths of America, where we live in the land of the free, the home of the brave and the place of generous abundance for all. Never is there not enough food to go around. Never does someone die, simply because we don't have enough resources to sustain life. Never must one choose between life for one, and death for another. 

Even though Freddy wasn't around for it, the phone finally did ring, and it was the worst we had been afraid of: Freddy was yet again rejected from the kidney program. Sentenced to death by what the profane would call "natural selection." 

Can I tell you what this type of encounter does to my everyday life? To live and work and build a life  in this completely-"other"-and-truly-3rd-world, where there is not enough for everyone? 

Constantly brewing just beneath the surface of my daily life, I carry around the heaviness of this broken 3rd world existence. Twisted in on itself, my heart settles into the depths, and swirls around in a constant state of thoughtfulness, prayerfulness and a re-evaluation of the theology of suffering. 

How can this happen in the same world in which I can bask in the light of a warm sun, eat yummy sushi, watch 3-D movies at a new theater, and choose my preferred coffee at Starbucks? How can this be? How can I live with myself? How can I choose to get out of bed in the morning in the face of such immensity? How does this fit with my worldview? Which path do I choose? What answer can I wrestle to the ground and pin down as the right solution? 

I wish I had the answer for you, but I am still  new at this journey of walking closely beside suffering. I am still asking the questions as they arise. I live day to day, hour to hour, asking God to meet me in the middle of the heartache. I beg Him to use me as a part of the answer He is shaping, and I listen as He is teaching my heart the truth about the Gospel I trust in. 

We believe in a Gospel that can handle suffering. We believe in a Gospel that creates beauty from ashes, birth from death, triumph from suffering, and redemption from sacrifice. What other better "good news" can you think of? Sometimes, clinging to good news in the face of a painful reality, feels like a rock that I have to carry, yet somehow, it is also this same rock of good news that I build my life upon. 

I hope someday that you also have the privilege of wrestling with these heavy things. I hope you find that those heavy things become real to you, and that you find you can build your life upon those truths.
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-Mi Casa is Su Casa-

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My demanding public wants to know:  Where are you living? 
Well I moved into my new place in April, but since I haven't had access to internet for about 5 months, there was a big delay in getting these pics posted. So... finally.... the debut!
 Come right in and make yourself at home. Tour anyone? 

I call this my "Dirty Dancing Beach Cottage" Anyone remember the "staff" cabins from that movie? This house kinda reminds me of that. The house was built on the front corner of my landlord's property for her parents to live in, but her parents passed away a few years ago, so she has been renting it out since then. My rental car is in the foreground, but the good news is that I will be purchasing my own car this month! The place also came fully furnished which is great for those of us that came with only a few suitcases!
Meet Zach. He runs security around here, so you gotta get to know him first. And let me tell you... I feel very secure. This dude doesn't mess around. 

If you make it past Zach you get to the front door. 
Come on in!

Enclosed front porch: Perfect for an afternoon cup of coffee, drying laundry when the weather is bad, and storing bicycles. 

My ocean view from the porch. The sun sets over the ocean here every night and it's quite gorgeous! Chapman's Peak on the right. My security gate parking access as well. 

Zach is on duty, on guard and holding down that fence like nobody's business. 

Into the house we go, through the burglar bars. They keep out the burglars and the baboons! Are we getting a sense of safety here people? 

Looking from my front door into the kitchen. I love cooking here! Full sized refrigerator and an oven, which I didn't have at my old place. Washing machine too! 

Living Room viewed from the kitchen


Bedrooom... I graduated from a twin to a full size :) Wohoo! 

Desk... Apparently I have lots of books to read... 

Bathroom

That concludes your tour. Thanks for coming!
 You are welcome again any time :) 



Read More 0 comments | Posted by Amy | edit post

-Heritage Day-

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Ah, working on a public holiday... every nurses' dream come true, right? Actually, I don't mind in the least, especially if it's a day that involves special people and a special treat :) And on Monday, our patients and the staff of Living Care got both! 

We were blessed to have a team here visiting from Smoky Hill Vineyard Church, in Colorado, and as a part of all they did at Living Hope, they hosted a good 'ole fashioned BBQ in the front yard of the hospital. The patients and staff loved it! What a nice break in our normal routine, and a great way to celebrate Sept 24th, Heritage Day.

If you ask someone what they are celebrating on Heritage Day, they might not have a specific answer for you... basically it means... celebrate who you are and where you came from! In the broader context of the "Rainbow Nation" it honors the coming together and celebrating of our diversity. In recent years, it's also become known as Braai Day, and Desmond Tutu even lent his patronage to national Braai day, believing that the SA culinary tradition of BBQ is what unites our diverse nation, so braai we will! 
Aprons on! Tongs in hand!

 Boerwors sausages chargrilled = Done! 



Patients are ready and waiting


Dishing up

Handing out


Yum!

The staff getting to enjoy a moments rest

The patient's enjoying the sun!


Thanks Smoky Hill!




Read More 0 comments | Posted by Amy | edit post

-Trust-

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Having come to the end of myself, I am ready to wait. Having no solutions in sight, I am ready to listen. 

I am ready to wait and to listen for my God.

"But how much longer can I take it? How much longer must I wait?"


"What if? What is the plan here God?"

I myself, I have no plan. My plan is to stay where He put me, no matter the cost. To work as He has called me. Even when it's hard. Even when it hurts. Even when I see no clear picture of the future.

This cross is heavy, but I am choosing to carry it anyhow. 


It is a daily calling.

I am walking through hard times, but I am walking, and I am choosing to have a good attitude about it. 


I am choosing to believe that He is enough.

I am choosing this day whom I will serve.

I will depend on His Word, His character, His promises, and His plans.


This life? This calling? It is my witness before Christ in heaven. 


I will live out this calling by His power, for His glory, all the days of my life.

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In this (gospel) you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 1:6-7

The mercies of God cannot and will not fail and His faithfulness is not merely great–  it is unwavering.  - Anne Voskamp 


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-Thoughtful Thursdays-

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I want to remember this: 




“I am not primarily a worker for God; I am first and foremost a lover of God.  
This is who I am.” 


-Linda Dillow, Satisfy My Thirsty Soul





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-Winter Blues-

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"Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful".... Not it's not Christmas, it's just winter in Cape Town.

What a winter it has been. Thankfully I missed out on most of the harsh winter weather while I was home in the States for 8 weeks, but in the four weeks I've been back it has been absolutely abysmal.

It is cold. Freezing in fact. It's almost become a joke. It's that bad. And the complaining about the weather is even worse.

Daily attire should include snorkel, flippers, wool socks, boots, snowsuit and a scarf to boot. It is one big wet wintry mess down here.

The wind here has been gale force for weeks now. They don't call this place the Cape of Storms for nothing. The rain comes in sideways and the hail comes on the hour. The house shakes and the thunder keeps booming. I feel like I live in a car wash.

Everything is flooded. The roads are flooded. The houses are flooded. Living Hope is flooded. You name it... it is flooded. It was literally raining inside the grocery store yesterday.


Here's an article published by our local paper about the damage, followed by some photos of Living Hope...
Living Hope parking lot... knee deep in water... 


Row, row, row your boat... 


The ducks have found a new home... 

This week I've lost power at least ten times and the water has been out twice for a day each time. In the midst of all of this craziness and inconvenience and frustration, I am learning a lot. Every time the water or the power go out yet again, I think back on my relative life of ease in the States... where water and electricity and sturdy roofs are practically right up there with inalienable rights. Back where this would never happen unless there was a natural disaster of epic proportions. Back where if there was a natural disaster, volunteers and neighbors and the Red Cross and the National Guard come out in force. I must admit that there have been times in the midst of this African journey that I have thought back on all I "gave up" in leaving the States, and times that I long for all the conveniences that I had at my fingertips when I lived there.

But today, I have never in all of my life been so grateful for the basics... for electricity, for running water and for a sturdy roof over my head. How quickly I am reminded of what we actually "need" to survive. 

And I can't help but think of those that don't have what I have, even when I feel like I only have the basics. Oh how much I have learned. I'm learning a lot about my "American-ness" and all of the assumptions that my "American-ness" brings with it. 

Assumption #1 - Obviously everyone in the world has running water.
Assumption #2- Obviously everyone in the world has electricity. 
Assumption #3- Obviously none of our houses are going to be blown down by a winter storm. 
Assumption #4- Obviously all of us go home to warm showers and hot meals and sources of heat to warm us up. 

How wrong I am. I am surrounded by the masses of the wet, the cold, the tired, and the broke that all could testify to my wrongness. And how far I still have to go. 

My eyes keep being openened. I keep being challnged. I keep learning. 

I know that these experiences makes me grateful and keep me grounded and provide me with perspective, but I think that there must be more to it than even that. What does this teach me? What does it teach you? How then should we live? 




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-Thoughtful Thursdays-




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“Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into the places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.” –Henri Nouwen




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- I'm back!!! -

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Second day back at work, and already deep in the weeds :)
 Team meetings, doctor's wards rounds and Living Care celebrations in full swing! 
Glad to be back! 

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-Thoughtful Thursdays-

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“It is impossible to get exhausted in work for God. We get exhausted because we try to do God’s work in our own way.”

-Oswald Chambers






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-Proof-

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Getting to work in HIV and TB care has been an eye-opening experience.  Never before have I seen such immediate benefits to nursing care. A few pills a day, and some tender loving care literally snatches people back from their deathbeds. It’s dramatic business. 

The recovery from a previously untreated HIV is incredible to watch. I have seen it in real life, played out before my own eyes, time and time again, as patients are brought back to the the healthy whole life they were living before AIDS once they start anti-retroviral meds. This video is not associated with Living Hope, but Anti-retroviral medications work in the same manner everywhere.

This video goes in reverse... it starts at the end of 90 days of treatment and goes backwards in time to before Salinah was taking ARV medication.

Watched and be amazed. So thankful that we have access to these medications. So thankful that you let me be apart of this healing process. Grateful to bear witness to transformed lives.


Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Amy | edit post

-Home-

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We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this special update: I’m home in the States! After 17 months in South Africa, it's time for a visit home.

It’s funny, but time flies. I can completely understand why most missions organizations recommend at least a 2-year stay before your first visit back to the States. I definitely miss SA. Some days I feel like I’ve only just gotten to South Africa, and I always feel that we have just scratched the surface of the work to be done. I’m eager to get back at it, but I have to take care of the business of being a dual-citizen and maintaining a cross-continental lifestyle in the mean time.

In coming back to the States, culture shock hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. I’m loving having Starbucks at my fingertips, and there's just something about driving down a Tennessee highway with the windows rolled down and country music blaring that's good for my soul.

I’ve had a great time catching up with friends and family and have been blessed to be present for some big life events here in the States: baptisms, birthdays, Father’s Day, Memorial Day, engagements, and new babies, and July 4th is still to come around the corner!

My purpose in this season is varied: active rest; fundraising; paperwork; ministry updates and reports; life catch-up; reconnecting with old friends; making new friends; ensuring the sustainability of my ministry; and nurturing relationships that matter.

I have to keep telling myself that coming home to the States and everything I’m experiencing in these seven weeks isn’t an accurate picture of what “real” life is. If I’m ever tempted to move back to the States based upon how great this time has been, I tell myself, "In real life, people don’t drop everything, rearrange their schedules, and then travel long distances to see you. In real life, people have jobs, responsibilities, and life events that must continue on despite visits from old friends. In real life, I have a job and responsibilities that don’t allow me to drop everything."

I have to keep reminding myself that this type of long visit is what makes my “real” life in South Africa possible.

One of the big parts of furlough is connecting with my local church body. I’m a “sent” missionary, which automatically means that I represent a larger body of local believers in the States. As such, I actually have two ministries. The first ministry is that which I accomplish everyday as a nurse on the field. The second is the ministry I have to the people back home who support me and who are in my church. I owe them an explanation of the work that God is accomplishing through their partnership and support.

This is actually one of my favorite things to do. I love talking about the joy, hope, and change that Living Hope is breeding in my little part of the woods. It’s a privilege to encourage my church to keep up the good work they started in supporting the work that Living Hope is doing.

I’m also home fundraising for my next year at Living Hope. This has been easier than I thought and harder than I thought. It's been easier when the funds come without me asking and completely unexpected. It’s harder when I can’t see where the money will come from and God keeps telling me to trust Him.

I need about $300 more per month in funding to make ends meet, but I can say this with great confidence: God has been faithful and His people have been faithful in this 2-year journey toward Africa. It’s overwhelming and humbling. His constant trust in me begs me to continually trust in Him. And, ultimately, I know I'll be taken care of.

If you feel prompted to partner with me in this journey, you can follow the link on the side of this page to Brentwood Missions and give online there.

I'm grateful we serve a God who goes behind us, before us, and with us. I’m so thankful I didn’t have to leave Him in South Africa. I’m thankful He's the God of every continent, nation, and tribe. We serve a big God, and He's with us wherever we go in this world.

Love to all- Amy
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-Thoughtful Thursdays-

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"See that I am God. See that I am in everything.
See that I do everything.
See that I have never stopped ordering my works, nor ever shall, eternally.
See that I lead everything on to the conclusion I ordained for it before time began, by the same power, wisdom and love with which I made it.
How can anything be amiss?"


-julian of norwich



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-Idealistic-


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Whew, that was close. In a whirlwind of romantic notion, I was tempted to make you my idol. I was tempted to fall at your feet and get caught up in the hazy vision for the future. I looked to you for your next move. I waited for you to fix all things, believing that everything would be all right as long as I “believed.”

Idealism, you make a really lousy idol. Human initiated, human planned, and human flawed, our idealism is bound to disappoint. Idealism can even paralyze us in making decisions, as it fills us with fear and anxiety and the risk of heartbreak. 

Do any of us really have a clue what we are doing? Do you really trust yourself to make the big decisions of your life? Will the future look like you think it will? Can you see into that unknown time ahead? How is it looking? Are you sure? What if?

How many times must God remind me that I am not in charge? Thank goodness for that. So when He showed me that I needed to take idealism down off of the pedestal of my heart, I listened and didn't wait for the inevitable topple.

It turns out that my world does not revolve around what I think it does.
My sun does not rise and set with anyone, or anything created.
There is no foundation that I can build strong enough not to crack.
The ebb and flow of my days don’t originate with anything I can drum up.
I can’t keep the world in my pocket and rub it for good luck.

Instead I fall before the God of creation and restore my idolism to its rightful status. I will idolize only He that is the Author of “ideal.”

His world revolves, and He lets me live in it.
He created the sun to rise and to set for His purposes.
I look to the One who can shake the foundations of the very earth I live on.
There is no stage large enough for Him to play on.
He never stays where I put Him, and He holds the oceans in the palm of His hand.
He reigns for all eternity in His rightful place.
He is sovereign. His knowledge knows no end.
There is no future for which He has not already accounted for. There is no plan of which He did not construct. There is no circumstance that He is not already waiting for me in. There is no era or time in which He does not rule.

Hang on to your seats folks, the future is looking really, really terrific :) 
Read More 0 comments | Posted by Amy | edit post

-Nothing is Impossible-

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Sometimes God answers prayers in very concrete, tangible and timely ways. It seems to me, that when we are the most helpless, and the most desperate, and the least in control, He is already at work. He shows up when we need Him the most. He hears, He sees, He heals, and I am overwhelmed with His goodness. Each time He shows up in a big and obvious way, my faith is strengthened for the journey. Each act of divine intervention is just another brick in the firm foundation He is building out of my mustard seed of belief. My faith is nowhere near unshakable, but I've placed my weak and very shaky faith in a very unshakable God. I am reminded of a Kari Jobe song that talks about this very thing: belief. "I believe You're my healer. I believe You are all I need. I believe You're my portion. I believe You're more than enough for me."  Those lyrics have never been truer or dearer to me than at this very moment. And for it to really be truth, then it has to be true for all of us. Me. You. Every living person on this planet. 

I am surrounded here. I stand in a township and my heart cries out with the injustice of it all. Not everything inside those walls is a mess, but most of it is. I am surrounded by illness, disease, despair, darkness, brokenness, sickness, sin, abuse and heartache. But then I am reminded that in no way does Africa hold the corner market on physical illness, spiritual darkness or emotional pain. Look no further than your own family. Your neighborhood. Your church. Your own heart. We are all unbelievably broken, and we all need a healer. 

I have come to believe with all my heart that there is a solution. 

God, You are our healer. I believe that You are more than enough for the people of this world. I believe that You are the portion for those that have a portion of nothing. I believe that You walk your people through literal and figurative fire and that You heal all of their disease including the ones that we don't even know are making us sick. You hold our every moment and I believe that you are all we need. I trust in You. I trust in You. 

Nothing is impossible. Nothing. 




I believe You're my healer
You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You




Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Amy | edit post

-Fun Times-

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Oh my goodness, where did April go? What a busy month! In addition to being a very busy season at Living Hope, I moved houses, and then my family arrived for a visit over Easter. We had such a wonderful time of catching up and spending some time seeing Cape Town. We literally ran all over the place including a long race for my Dad and a family 5K run together. One of my favorite things was getting to have nightly slumber parties with my younger teenaged sisters. How many times do you get to do that? I can assure you, that there was here was lots of giggling. Just to give you a quick preview, here are some i-phone captured moments of our time together! Love this family of mine. Hoping to post more soon! 




















Read More 0 comments | Posted by Amy | edit post
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  • About:
      Supported by her home church, Brentwood Baptist in Nashville, TN, Amy moved across the world in 2011 and accepted a volunteer missionary nursing position with Living Hope in Cape Town, South Africa, where she works with impoverished people affected by HIV, TB, cancer and other life threatening illnesses. She went on to marry Steve in 2013, and in doing so has made South Africa her second home. She now considers herself to be in a long- term cross-cultural relationship, both in marriage and in ministry. Keep reading for stories from Living Hope and from life in South Africa. Thanks for reading along!
  • Contact Info:


    e-mail: nurseamyaaron@gmail.com

    Facebook:
    Amy Aaron
    Skype:
    amyhelms04

    To donate to my ministry:
    http://www.brentwoodmissions.com/

    Living Hope:
    http://www.livinghope.co.za/



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